The Journey Continues

Ugh.
That's how I feel about myself. This is how I've felt for awhile now. This on again off again cycle of trying to get healthy has been the story of my life. I know it's been a while since my last post. I decided to keep the blog going because I did promise the ups and downs, and today's post is a little of both. I'll start with the not so good....

I've gained almost all of the nearly fifteen pounds back. Yes. I've gained back nine pounds. I want to scream.  This is where I would offer an excuse, but I really don't have one. I can tell you what happened. When I got out of the hospital, I never got back on track. Chuck changed jobs which resulted in a three week period with no pay, and groceries weren't our top priorities when the car payment and rent got behind. With the new job comes better pay and a better budget for groceries, which should allow for healthier foods on the shopping list. There again, no excuse to give.
As I type these words I am literally near tears. Why? Well, it's a combination of being disgusted with myself and the stupid hormone roller-coaster my body is on due to the whopping 51.5 BMI that I hold title to. Yes. Up and down and down and up. That's me!
With Chuck's new job comes an awesome benefit package and amazing health insurance. Yesterday it was confirmed that I qualify and will be covered for more than 80% of the costs for bariatric surgery. That's good news for me. If you are reading this and you're thinking, "of course, take the easy way out," you should know that I expect that from some people. It's a good thing this is my life and I'm entitled to make the decisions that will affect it.
YES. I want to have bariatric surgery. I am going to have the gastric banding surgery, popularly known as Lapband. So if you have considered this option, be sure to follow this blog because I'm going to share every step of the way with you.
My insurance company has a program known as Bariatric Resource Services. They will provide me with my own RN (registered nurse) that will be my personal consultant from the beginning to end (as in the day I reach my goal weight.) I am scheduled to have my first phone consultation with Martha on Tuesday, September 18, 2012. As a requirement for the program and the surgery, I do have to complete a six month supervised diet prior to surgery, as well as a psychological exam, and most likely a sleep apnea test. As I am blessed to not have any of the diseases that come with morbid obesity such as diabetes or high blood pressure, or high cholesterol, my BMI alone qualifies me for surgery under my benefit plan.
Why did I choose the lapband procedure? I'm glad you asked. Firstly, there are a lot less chances of complications with this surgery. The gastric bypass is an older procedure, but the risks are greater.
Weight loss will be significantly slower with the gastric banding verses the bypass, but I really like not having my stomach cut or stapled! The other biggest reason for my choosing this procedure is that I have to put in the work to lose the weight. The banding won't affect the way my stomach absorbs nutrients, it only controls how slowly the food enters my stomach resulting in a feeling of fullness that occurs sooner and lasts longer. The band can be adjusted to be tighter or looser according to my needs. If I find I'm still hungry a lot and eating too often, I can have it tightened. If I can't eat like I should or the food isn't entering my stomach quickly enough, I can have it loosened. It's a matter of a simple injection into a port that is just below the skin of my abdomen, where my physician will add or withdraw saline from the band. From what I understand, my food intake per meal will be reduced to approximately one ounce.
I'm sure there's a lot more for me to learn, and I hope you'll be reading and learning with me over the next several months. There is a small chance that I'll be able to forgo the six month diet plan if I can provide proof of six consecutive monthly visits with any of my physicians where they counseled me on my weight. I know my OB was counseling me while we were trying to get pregnant, but I'm not sure if it was a six month period.
I have an appointment with him on my birthday so I'll ask then. Yes!! Happy Birthday to me, so I'll reward myself with an exam! I DESPISE those exams, but what can you do? I also intend to start birth control to make sure we can see this thing through from beginning to end and increase the chances of a healthier pregnancy for me and baby after I've accomplished some serious health goals.
So basically, it's now or never. I really feel like this will be a life changing experience and that the surgery will give me the tools I need to have the life I want. I know a lot of people would be embarrassed to admit having bariatric surgery, but I see it like this: I can't worry about what people think of me. I have to work on what I think of myself.
I'm going to join a gym before the end of the month, and call on my loving and supportive family for strength. I know a few PT's that will chime in as well. With my family and determination, I don't see a limit to how far I can go. I do believe the biggest obstacle I'll have to conquer is my own stinking thinking. I have the tools for that too. Prayer and studying God's Word. Your prayers and support are appreciated as is the time you've taken to read this post.
Please follow my blog. It encourages me:) If you have any positive advice, or if you've had any experience in this area, please feel free to comment or email me.